Morning of Miracles
God had a sweet surprise for me this morning! Mama was in her usual spot on the sofa but she was alert and noticed me right away when I rounded the corner. Her eyes began to blink and that shy smile was speaking before I crossed the room to her. Reaching for my hands as I eased down beside her, I noticed her red rimmed eyes, but before I could say anything I saw the tears pooling as she offered the first words of greeting this time, “Oh! I love you so much! I really, really love you! I’m so glad you are here!” When I leaned in to pull her to me, and kissed her temple, I felt the tremble of her small frame and saw the tears begin to roll. “I love you, Mama! I’m so glad to be here with you! You are my Mama!! I’m your daughter, I’m Bonnie!” Her smile lit up and clinging to me she is saying, “I KNOW! And I really love you and thank you for being here!” She’s touching my face and looking into my eyes. She wants to make sure I understand that she loves me. Now my eyes are misting as I kiss her sweet head, and ask if she has been sad. She tells me she has but that it’s going to be all right now. It’s a a perfect day to be outside with Mama today so I take her hand and walk with her out to the shade of the arbor. The overcast sky allows a cool breeze for us as we settle into the chairs in our favorite private place. I look again into that face as she closes her eyes, her head tossed back, and breathes deeply, extending her arms to each side, soaking in the moment. As I listen to the songbirds, she opens her eyes and I realize the red has disappeared and her eyes are now as blue as the sky above her. She looks heavenward often these days. And she sees the unseen. I know she does, because the glory reflects on her face, a perfect picture of peace. I play some music for her and sing along with Bobbie Gentry and Mama is tickled that I know all the words and claps with childlike joy. She listens intently to the story of Billy Joe as if she’s sitting around the table with her own family. I wonder to myself if the words “Carroll County”where she was born, might surface a buried cell memory. I wonder what her mind recalls as she smiles through each verse or if it’s just the melody she knows so well because the same thing happens with John Denver and Glen Campbell tunes. Her face delights from the beginning familiar notes. I have a playlist entitled “Mama” and it is literally various songs about “mama” that I usually play for myself when the ache becomes too heavy and I just need to cry. It works every time. But today I played some for her and she seemed to somehow understand that I was honoring her. She also had an amazing response to the one song that reminds me of HER mother. When I played “Mama’s Knees” she said, “I love my sweet Mama!” And I believe she remembered my grandmother on her knees in her prayer closet every night calling out the names of her children and grandchildren, lifting them up to the throne of God. A few days ago, Mama said “I used to know myself. So I can do it again.” Today she said, “I’ve been trying to remember who I am and I can almost get it. Then it goes away.” I told her it’s okay if she can’t, it doesnt matter. But she corrected me, insisting “No! It matters to me. I want to remember it!” And I smiled in agreement, assuring her “then you will remember!”
God is teaching me about my faith. He is revealing unbelief when it slips into my thoughts. He is teaching me to bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. He is reminding me of all the miracles in my life and in my time with Mama. He is reminding me of who He is!
“And Jesus said to him, “ ‘If You can?’ All things are possible to him who believes.” Immediately the boy’s father cried out and said, “I do believe; help my unbelief.””
Mark 9:23-24 NASB1995
Mama often quoted that last part to me “I do believe; help my unbelief.” God is reminding me that knowing and quoting scriptures is one thing. Believing the scriptures and living them out is obedience to my Lord.
Mama wants to remember. She believes she will. I believe she will, too. All things are possible to those who believe. Jesus said so. “He is more than able. Who am I to deny what the Lord can do?”
🙏🏻All glory and honor is yours, Father! Thank you for loving us and taking care of us🙏🏻
